My latest obsession is the Songify app for the iPhone.


My first exposure to it was when a friend of mine posted what should have been a sweet song that his toddler niece “made” with the app, one in which she just said, “My name is [redacted].” Like I said, it should have been sweet. Instead, it was the most brilliantly creepy thing I’d heard in ages. The autotuned child’s voice repeating an introduction over and over and over and over for almost a full minute, set to generic pop background music, was the stuff of nightmares. Someone mentioned that it was the type of thing someone would play for their stalkee. I longed to leave it on a random stranger’s answering machine.


So, of course, I had to check out Songify for myself.


Here’s the thing, I imagine that there are people who use this app to make legitimate dance tunes. I am not one of those people. I love the juxtaposition of cheesy pop music with bizarre lyrics. Confession: I love anything bizarre. Or weird. Or creepy. It’s okay. I come in peace.


So here’s my favorite Songify creation thus far:




This really needs to be the feel-good, omnipresent hit of the summer. Let’s make it happen. It’s MAGIC.